This post gets to be filled with my musings. This is going to be a fun one.
Yesterday, Jen and I took to the gym after being on a pretty “low-active” schedule last week: i.e.- our normal ass kicking workouts weren’t on the list for either of us all week. We did an intense circuit of exercises for your arms, back, chest, and abs. I didn’t start to feel it today until after I took a really good, long, nap.
I’m really partial to arm workouts for some reason. I think it’s because 1) my arms are my weakest muscles, when I started, the bar was really hard to lift for me. 2) I hated showing my arms before, they would jiggle, and sleeveless, or strapless things never looked good on me and 3) I got a tattoo on the inside of my left bicep last year. I thought it was a good idea because no one would be able to see it, but I never wanted to show it off, no matter how much I loved it, because I hated my arm shape. I’m not as bad about it anymore, but I’m also starting to get guns 🙂 (I’m also kind of mad at it, it blocks my bicep line…).
Last week my experiment in no measurement showed me something – I know, at the very least, how to maintain. My weight didn’t shift AT ALL. For weight loss, it’s a real bummer, because I still worked really hard last week, but as a message to myself – I’m clearly not as bad at this as I thought I was sometimes. Being bikini bound isn’t just going to be a mirage. I think I’ll actually get to a point where I can pick something cute out, and look kind of good in it. It’s just sitting there in the back of my mind. I’m doing my best to keep my goals in mind. I want a cute vintage bikini!
Lastly, things are changing for me. I realized the other day, that working out is no longer a chore for me. I don’t feel like I have to drag myself to the gym, or like I have to be there anymore if I want to lose weight. I know that’s all true, but I like to be there, and I get excited when I leave work and I think ‘OMG, I get to go to the gym!” I think I felt discouraged at first because I had a fitness level at -100, everything was hard, and I just wanted to get out of there without killing myself. It’s weird (to me) that I welcome the difficulties of workout out. I try stuff that I thought was too hard before, and it’s not a mountain anymore. If I fail at it, I make a point to add it to my list, and find a way to build up to it, and achieve it. Nothing is scary anymore. At a certain point you find out that being scared is just your excuse for not wanting to try harder. Everyone has to start somewhere. For me I figured out that I was close to rock bottom, and I was letting my weight, and my health be things that I ignored. Once I picked up a pair of running shoes, and stopped feeling sorry for myself, I did it, and I’m still doing it, and I can’t wait until I get to that last goal. It seems so impossible, but I’ve gotten this far.
Sign up for the Hangry Woman Mailing List for WEEKLY recipes, news, and events!