I’m at week 20. Me, Mila Clarke, I’ve been physically active for 20 straight weeks?
You’re joking me.
I’ve had some terrible weeks in between. Not every week has been golden. One week, I drank with my friends (and I was intensely scared to face the scale the next morning- I might’ve even ignored it). Lately I haven’t been getting a great amount of sleep, so I just haven’t been dropping weight like I’ve wanted to. I’ve lost 17.5 pounds, which puts me 2.5 pounds shy of my second goal. I had pasta for dinner tonight – maybe not the wisest choice, but I learned from each mistake I make, and after 20 weeks, I feel like I really have come a long way from where I was. I don’t take excuses from myself anymore, and I just do what I have to.
It’s weird how much I’m not myself.
I’ve also been video blogging. I meant to do it each week, but somehow, I got lost between weeks 1 and 19. I watched the first one and the change is so interesting. I was so scared the first week, and apprehensive about all of this. I immediately said that I thought I would fail, instead of being open to the possibility that maybe I would do just fine. I was afraid that my friends and family wouldn’t support me, and that being around them would always be difficult because of my desire to be able to count every calorie I ingested, and their desire to be free to do whatever they want. I actually give them a lot of credit. They’ve all been so respectful, and helpful, and I couldn’t ask for a better support system. It’s insane to me how I threw out every excuse in the book of why I couldn’t do this, never once letting myself just do it.
So at 20 weeks, I’m not as shake-y as I was on the first day I started. I’ve learned to embrace what I want to do, because it’s honestly now, or never. All of the changes that I’ve made have worked. I don’t miss candy, I can eat sweet things, and decadent things, but I’m vigilant with my diet and my workouts. It’s happening slowly, because I still want to enjoy life, but it’s happening nonetheless, and I’m proud of that.
I want to enjoy my hotness before my 20’s are over. I’ve got 8 years, but the sooner the better.
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