Last year around this time, I was planning to start eating healthy and working out. It was a hard road for me up to this point, but I learned so much valuable information that I wouldn’t trade for the world. This year has been a whirlwind. It has been full of highs, and lows, but I’m determined to make this coming year a year of records.
Last year I had goals set. They were okay, but now that I look back, I don’t think they were specific enough, and they were kind of superficial.
This past year, I think I concentrated more on food, than I did on exercise. I knew exercise would get me to see my goals, but I knew that concentrating on what to eat would keep me there. I also got kind of scared of exercise. I didn’t think I could do it well without a trainer (and they’re SO expensive), I kept getting injured, or feeling really sore after workouts, and I never could find something that I absolutely loved to do fitness wise. I’m not an athlete by any means. Running is awesome, but I still feel too heavy to run regularly (and I can’t do it for very long without being in a lot of pain- 2 miles is the most I can do without feeling really sore). I’m not flexible enough for yoga (my muscles are really stiff, and even bending to touch my toes for more than 10 seconds kinda hurts), I feel really stupid lifting weights (I feel like I’m always doing it wrong), and I usually can’t make gym classes because of work- even though I LOVE spin.
The thing about it is, I know that I place these barriers in front of myself but, I try to work around them. I still run, and do yoga, and lift weights even though I feel heavy, stiff, and dumb. I do as much as I can because that’s the best I can do. It gets frustrating to see people achieve so much else, but I always have to remember that I’m doing the best I can, my pace is what matters, but I do know people who judge, and who would say “that’s not an achievement,” and it makes me nervous to even talk about what I can do.
This year, tangible goals are on my mind. The one honest evaluation I can give myself relative to my fitness level is that my mind gives up way before my body even has, and so my biggest goal is to CHEER MYSELF ON. Giving myself the push inside my brain that just says “come on, you can do it, just get through the next 30 seconds…now the next….now the next.” I have no problem pushing myself to get up and go to the gym, I just need to push myself while I’m there.
My second goal, by next year is to be able to run- a 5k, then a 10k then a 1/2 then a full, then an Iron Girl. I know that it’s going to take diligent training to be able to do those things, but I want to do them. I think that goal is a reachable one, and I think it’s perfect for the pace I’m going at right now. I started doing C25K because it’s manageable, and it’s only 3 days a week, so I can get my weight training in too, which brings me to my third goal.
I want to do more weight training. I said up there that I was kind of scared of weight training because I was afraid of doing it wrong, and looking stupid, or really hurting myself, but I really want to start weight training more. When I did the SIF Total Body Blitz, I was seeing really good results, and the weight training was the perfect level for me. I was still really new to it, but I was able to catch on pretty quickly, and my workouts were planned, so I never had to worry about missing a day, or not having a plan. The only thing I miss is having someone to do it with. It works really well with a buddy, but I still can’t convince any of my friends to come work out with me. So, I don’t have the buddy system option anymore.
I want to update more. I need accountability. That’s just the way my brain works. Because I’m still on the path to losing weight, I really need to be able to have an outlet for it, and I need to be able to talk about it freely. There are so many times where I misstep, or I need advice, or I really crush a day, and I think it’s healthy, and okay to talk about those things. I don’t think I do now because I think my achievements are dinky in comparison to other people I know, but I think I should be proud of those dinky achievements. They’re mine, and everyone has to start somewhere! I want to do more updates about my workouts, and not just my cooking. I love to cook, and finding that balance between still getting to eat all of the crazy stuff I love, and staying healthy and trying to get fit is so important to me. I do want to throw some of my fitness adventures in too! It’s not just all food for me this year. I really want to zone in on working out.
One goal I’m not giving up on – looking super fly in a bikini. I’m really getting there, but it’s the one superficial thing I really want.
I think one of the more real aspects of my blog is that I talk about bad days when I’m having them. I open up about my frustrations, because this whole thing hasn’t been easy for me, and I think too often we see the rewards of fitness, and not the hard road it takes to get there. With that though, I want to start amping up my levels of positivity. I don’t feel the need to be overly positive, because It’s not authentic, but I do want to start looking at thing differently
Lastly, I want to be another 20 pounds down by March 1st. That would put me at 170 pounds. I know that it doesn’t matter much, and it’s just gravity, but there is a little tiny slice of me that is still validated by the scale. My healthy weight range for my height, is between 100-120 pounds, and I’m almost twice that. It’s not something that makes me feel terrible like everyone makes it out to be. I weigh once a week, and it doesn’t really draw any emotions out of me, it’s mostly an interesting number for me. I’m more emotional about inches, and body fat percentages, but I like stepping on the scale and seeing a lower number. I still can’t see how I’ve changed when I look in the mirror, so it’s a nice visual representation.
So the one word I want to use to describe my goals this year, is “Strength.” Not only do I want my mind, body, and soul to be strong, but I really want to be fit and athletic, and I want to find the strength to push myself, and find the strength to climb whatever mountains are coming my way in this next year.
What goals do you like to put in front of yourself?
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