My life has been pretty crazy since the last time I updated this thing, but I had to come back for one of my favorite food holidays of the year (Cinco de Mayo!), and also give everyone some insight into why I’ve been gone, and how that has affected my motivation for weight loss. My boyfriend and I are starting to work out as a couple, and I wanted some advice!
New things:
I’m moving in with this guy:
Bryan and I decided to take the plunge, and move in together. We talked to our parents and got a lot of insight from them. We asked them, and ourselves some really difficult questions (that we’re still asking), but we’re doin’ it! We decided that it’s the right decision for the both of us, and that we’re excited to fully begin the next chapter in our lives. No doubt, this is bold, and it’s fast, but we’re both 100% sure that it’s the right time, and the right move.
I adopted this girl:
‘Lil dog is my pet name for my little new pet Lily. She’s a Daucshund, Chihuhaua mix (the vet said she probably has a little bit of beagle in her since she’s got those huge floppy ears). I LOVE her little face. She also loves to run! It’s going to be really fun to take her to a trail, and run along with her.
With all the good news, though, comes some bad. I’m hitting the reset button on everything I know:
I can definitely say that I failed. I gained back all of the weight I lost, short of 1 pound. I can make every excuse in the book for it, but when it comes down to it, it wasn’t getting sick, it wasn’t losing my job before, it was me. I have to take ownership of that before I can move forward with my journey in losing weight. Failure isn’t a terrible thing, you learn a lot from it. You can figure out where you went wrong, and work hard to change it. Am I disappointed? Yes, do I want to use it to fuel my fire? Double yes.
Last week I was sitting in my room looking at my progress pictures, thinking about how hard I’d worked for the progress I made, and how I let that go so easily because I fell into a slump. It frustrated me. it took me nearly a year to lose 30 pounds. ONE YEAR TRYING MY ABSOLUTE HARDEST. I think I had every single thing on my side, but in the end, the only thing, besides myself, that really pushed me to failure, was feeling like I couldn’t talk to anyone in my daily life who found interest in what I was doing, or who wanted to hear about it . As hard as it is to admit that, I have to. You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.
How did I lose motivation?
I had people cheering me on in the comments section, and encouraging my progress through Facebook and Twitter, but in real life, I didn’t have any friends who “got it,” or who would/could work out with me if I asked, or who would even encourage me in daily life. I think that’s one of the biggest pieces of this weight loss puzzle. If you don’t have anyone behind you, it’s easy to fall. Your mindset, and your desire come first, but support is what keeps this journey alive. People encouraging you through it, and loving you through it really does help, in my eyes. That was honestly something I’d always been grasping for, but I never really got it.
The thing that I love about that reset, is that I finally have a support system behind me in real life. It’s the only thing I’ve really missed that I ever felt hindered by. My boyfriend and I are starting to work out together, eat well together, and catch each other. We’re both working really hard to keep each other accountable, and honest. Our biggest motivations are 1) encouraging each other to be healthy, and active (because we really want to travel the world, and climb mountains, and do crazy stuff together), and 2) to look hot for reach other. We’re both attracted to one another’s brains, and souls, but we feel like overall health, just looking fit, and feeling fit are important to the both of us, and we want that for each other. I know that my success doesn’t depend on him, and his doesn’t depend on me. but ultimately, we’re there to catch and encourage each other. That’s something that I’ve always wanted, but I’ve always lacked.
Do you have any advice for us? What do you think are the benefits of couples’ workouts? When a couple starts working out together, how should they encourage, and inspire one another?
10 Responses
Your new doggie is adorable!!! Love her!
I’m sorry to hear about your weight struggles. Losing weight is no easy task. It took me a lot longer than a year to lose 30 pounds, and every little pound that came back on in that time was so hard to deal with.
As for couples workouts, I guess the idea is a good one, but it never worked for me. When I worked out with people in the past, they would either tell me what to do or say I was doing exercises wrong, so I got extremely frustrated. Now that I’m married, my husband and I run together but I really prefer being solo. I think just allowing the other person in the relationship the ROOM to workout is what is more respectful. If you can workout together, that’s awesome. But if not, just let each other have time to do your own workouts.
Best of luck! You can and will get there.
So happy for you Mila! Cheering you on, even if it’s just through a blog comment 🙂
I absolutely LOVE my training dates with my boyfriend! The encouragement and push I get from him are like no other! Our training dates are really special to me 🙂
I grew close to my wife through running (she was my running buddy before she was even my girlfriend). We don’t work out as much together anymore… someone has to watch the kids. But… my friends Edna and Peter have a program for couples workouts that even builds intimacy. Check out fit2touch.com
Couples workouts are SO amazing! Josh and I love to workout together because we know each other so well and can support and motivate each other. Something to consider if that you are each at different exercise levels and to not try and compare yourselves. I have been running twice as long as Josh but he still beats me at every run by minutes. He has longer legs, and is a guy, and running comes a little easier to him. I never let it get me down, I just cheer him on for doing so great. It’s also nice having a cheering squad as you’re finishing out your own run. 😀
There’s nothing wrong with having to reset & get yourself back on track!
My husband & I always leave the house with a plan (what workout we’re doing, who is going to “lead” the workout, etc) and we also have an agreement that there is no “life conversation” during the workout – no discussion of bills, no going over the grocery list, no talk about parenting, none of that! Minimal conversation during the workout & it can only be about the workout..lol 🙂
T.
Good for you for getting back on track. Remember that while friends, SOs, family can all provide support and encouragement, it really has to come from you. Good luck.
My husband is my best workout partner. We actually met (and got married at) a running race, and we still run together. We also hit the gym together. He likes that since I’m a trainer he has his own really personal trainer.
Good for you! My husband and I workout on most days of the week together. It’s not that we do the SAME workouts, but we go together. We have a plan, and we are there at the same time:) It really helps, and you should feel very fortunate!
Pre-kids my hubs and I worked out together all the time. We motivated each other to push a little more and it’s also good for accountability. I think your plan sounds great. Good luck to you!
I don’t work out with anyone as a “couple”, but I love working out with friends…
One tip that’s fun…is to set up the workout so that when one person is going crazy with their reps…the other person is on their 30-60 second rest. That person’s job is to cheer like crazy and act like a PT…then, you switch. It’s kind of fun to get one-on-one attention/help…back and forth.