Things I hate about being out of shape.

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I’ve been in the process of re-doing my blog for two weeks or so, and I’ve unearthed these funny blogs that I forgot that I’ve written. One that I wrote, “Things I absolutely positively won’t miss about being fat,” was one of the funniest, and yet the most cruel one I’d written. I listed out aalllllll of the things I wouldn’t miss about myself. Some things that I could do, and some that I couldn’t that reminded me that I was a changed person. 

I revisited that list, and I keep having these waves of overwhelming feelings. I had worked so hard, but I’m on a worse end of the spectrum. I tried, and I keep trying, but for some reason, the focus falls away from me, and onto everything and everyone else (my bad). I keep thinking “Damn, I don’t know what it’s like to NOT miss some of those things anymore.” 

It made me think of all of these things that I hate about being out of shape, and things that I never want to deal with again like:

  • I’m afraid someone is judging what I’m eating.
  • I can’t run fast without feeling extremely winded afterward.
  • I lost the best ability – the sexy leg cross. *Sigh* Thunder thighs means sitting like a dude FOREVER. 
  • My posture sucks – mostly because my tummy gets in the way. 
  • Yoga is now uncomfortable. 
  • I’m thinking about my size ALL the time. I don’t have any empty brain space. It’s Bryan, Work, I haven’t seen my mom in a really long time, and the space I occupy. 
  • I can’t order cute clothes online anymore because my defensive lineman shoulders look like J.J. Watt tried to put on a too cute Ann Taylor Loft dress. I love J.J. Watt, but I don’t want his shoulders. 
  • The double chin is sadly back. SO SADLY. 
  • I weigh more than my boyfriend.
  • I’m afraid I won’t be able to fix it, no matter how hard I try because I KEEP trying, and I’m not fixing it. 

Consistency is the key to all of this. I can’t be great one day, and just “do whatever” the next. I can change most, if not all of those things. It’s a choice really. I just have to refocus, the attention on me, for the sake of me. I have to make sacrifices to make this work because I want it to work. forever. 

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3 Responses

  1. Way to go for being honest not only with yourself but the whole internet! Sometimes that is the hardest part – just saying it like it is. I hope you can make the time for yourself that you need to make some changes, but in the mean time – have grace for yourself!

    1. Thanks, Melissa. This encouragement is really awesome; I appreciate your kind words! Remembering to have grace for yourself is so hard, but It makes you realize that you’re human.

  2. I know you can do it Mila. Rachael and I are doing a 10 day green smoothie detox diet. I don’t have the book, but her friend did it and told us what to do. Eat 3 green smoothies a day, low sugar fruits, vegetables, up to 3 hard boiled eggs, salad (very little or no dressing). It’s easy to make the smoothies w/the NutriBlast. I have more energy. This could give you a jump start on your weigth loss. After the 10 days, you replalce 1 smoothie with a light meal. You are talented, and can cook great tasting healthy dishes. Miss you and Bryan.

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Hi! I'm Mila.

I’m a millennial woman with diabetes who loves food, travel and my kitchen!

I’m here to help you live your best life possible diabetes by showing you how to create easy, simple, delicious meals. 

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